Closing Post : Reflection and Christmas Wishes

Hello dear blog and readers (if there's anyone reading/following my post *thanks a lot*).

Holiday mood already activated. This is my last day working for the year 2015. Yay!

And most probably this is my last post for this year. Taking a 'blog hiatus' for few weeks, mybe a month..haha this blog need a break too. 

Guess 'he' maybe tired with some of my crappy entry..lol.

Hmmm looking back throughout my 2015 archive..and I pat myself on the back because there are still some significant stories..ahhh for the suck/crappy entry, I wont regret for writing/posting it.

It's my thought anyway and here is my platform to express myself, my thought, my mind.

I write for myself. For my reflection and inspiration. But deep in my heart I hope that I could inspire others.

So, I'll keep blogging! haha next year will be another room for improvement. And there's always something to improve. Yeah, that's the spirit!

So, guys here I summarize my favorite and most significant (might no for you, but YES for Me) post throughout this year :  

January 2015 - it's hard and stressful but I manage to keep smiling

February 2015 -  How far I've been traveled, yet there was still so much more to explore!

April 2015  - Most significant event at Di Kampung

  June 2015 - Tragic moment of Mount Kinabalu and the Sabahan. I only could offer my prayer. 

July 2015 - 1 - Another reflection for me, the Orang Kampung.

July 2015 -2 - The most memorable and priceless experience this year.

 August 2015- I will never forget this month. My heart flooded with love ♥.

September 2015, Engagement - Sea of love. I'm engaged! ♥

November 2015 - Extreme adventure!

...................and December is a month of reflection, though I didn't share most of it here/in my previous post.

This year have been a great experience for me. Next year might be the challenging one. But, who knows...perhaps, it might be the most exciting years. Mysteries of life; the future.

Anyway, have a wonderful day ahead beautiful people.

Happy holiday!

Best wishes for Christmas and prosperous happy new year!

aahhhh can't wait for Christmas ♥. Joy to the world!

#I wonder napa tiada kemeriahan Krimas disiarkan di Local (Malaysian) tv/radio, tidak seperti dahulu kala. Silver bells, jingle bells song...Christmas tree..hmmm seems like our local media are banned from promoting/celebrating Christmas. Tsk..tsk my nation ill already. Lord, heal our land!

Apa pun, sini Sabah tatap meriah juga...apa lagi kalau sudah balik kampung.

☃☃❄❄♫♪ Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way♫♪ ☃❄

Merry Christmas! ♥

See you next year bloggers!

Luahan Hati ~ Mereka yang memikul beban

My aunt share this to me long time ago when the political and economical issues in our country gotten worse. C & P again here. Reflect on this poem. 

Ke mana pergi subsidi kami? (Puisi Dr Maza)

Petikan dari http://drmaza.com/

kalian rampas subsidi kami, entah ke mana dibawa lari

kalian beritahu, wang mesti dicatu, kita menuju maju...

kalian kata: jika tidak, semua menderita, habis harta negara...

kalian berbahasa: bukan barang naik harga, cuma subsidi turun sahaja...

kami orang desa, mungkin tidak pandai kira berjuta-juta...

kami orang kecil kota, mungkin tiada sedemikian harta...

jika kalian tipu sebegitu, biasanya kami diam selalu...

tapi dapatkah kami dibohongi, tentang suapan saban hari?

apalah yang dapat diberitahu anak ke sekolah?

papa semakin parah? wang semakin lelah?

jika semalam berlauk, hari cuma berkuah...

kerana kerajaan kita sedang susah?

maka subsidi kita terpaksa diserah...

jika semalam kau makan sepinggan, hari ini saparuh

kerana barang makin angkuh, wang papa makin rapuh...

apa yang dapat dibisik pada anak berkopiah ke madrasah?

makananmu sayang, sebahagiannya sudah hilang...

jika mereka bertanya siapa yang bawa lari

kepada siapa patut kami tuding jari?

janganlah nanti mereka membenci pertiwi...

akibat pencuri harta bumi rakyat marhaen ini..

atau kami jadi insan curang...

kami beritahu; cuma subsidi sahaja yang kurang?

tiada apa yang hilang, nanti akan datang wang melayang...

dengar sini wahai yang tidak memijak bumi!

pernahkah kalian mengintipi kehidupan kami...

pernahkah kalian ngerti makna derita dan susah hati...

kami yang semput bagai melukut di kota kedekut

kami yang bekerja hingga senja di desa yang makin terseksa bertarung nyawa dan masa, menghitung setiap belanja

pernahkah kau merasa?

rumah bocor yang lanjut usia...

baju dan kasut anak yang koyak tinggal dalam rumah yang berasak-asak

siang kami sebak, malam kami sesak...

sedangkan kalian manusia angkasa...

istana permata dibina, kereta berjuta dirasa...

elaun di serata, dari isteri sehingga seluruh keluarga...

hidangan istimewa, konon meraya kemakmuran negara...

tapi kami masih di sini..di teratak ini...

dengan lauk semalam..

dengan hidangan yang tidak bertalam...

dengan rumah yang suram...

dengan wang yang hampir padam...

tiada istana lawa...tiada kereta berharga...

tiada layanan diraja..tiada baju bergaya, 

tiada kediaman menteri... tiada hidangan vip...

tiada persen di sana-sini... tiada bahagian anak dan bini...

tiba-tiba kalian kata: kamilah beban negara...

aduhai celaka bahasa yang kalian guna...

kalian yang belasah, kami yang bersalah...

kalian buat untung, hutang kami tanggung...

kalian mewah melimpah, kami susah parah

kalian hilangkan wang, poket kami yang terbang...

kalian bina istana, rumah kami jadi mangsa...

kalian makan isi, kami dijadikan abdi...

lantas, kalian rampas lagi subsidi...

ke mana wang itu pergi nanti?

jika kalian berhati suci, wajib mengganti buat kami...

jika tidak pun buat gula konon merbahaya

mengapa tidak beras diturun harga?

jika tidak untuk minyak kereta...

mengapa tambang tidak potong sahaja...

tapi entah berapa kali janji...

konon: nanti kami ganti, kami ganti, kami ganti...

hari demi hari, ceritanya pun tidak berbunyi lagi...

kami terus termanggu di sini...

kalian juga yang nikmati...

kami hanya menggigit jari...

kembalikanlah kepada kami harta negara...

jangan hanya kalian sahaja yang merasa...

~Dr MAZA~

So, please! please! and please! wahai para pemimpin..jalankan tanggungjawab sebaiknya untuk kebaikan rakyat and negara. Bukan untuk memuaskan hati sendiri saja.

# SayaShareUntukRenunganBersama. 

Wordless Wednesday

Source : DalaiLamaQuotes

I don't own this video.
Video that will change your life. I have no words left.

No words to say. Just watch! This video gonna blow your mind.

Wanna make a change to this world, we must start with ourselves. So, lets make a better world for you and for me.
Peace!

My first post on wordless Wednesday. hmmm suppose to be picture with no description /explanation, right? But I really wanna share this video with you guys...sorry if  I ruin the WW.

#Watching inspirational videos to retune my mind.

Ponder...

" it's better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb 

than at the top of the one you don't "

thanks to my precious. He give me something to ponder...

.....................

Know about Your Personality

Know about your Personality

Date of Parth: Sep 3, 1990 Path Number: 3 (Jupiter) You are controlled by Number 3, governed by Jupiter. This planet makes you diplomatic, organized, a natural leader, imparts the art of planinng, manipulation and makes you multi-skilled. You can easily master technology and machines. You are the best friend anyone can ask for. People come to you for advice, which you not only give freely but help others as well. The downside is that sometimes you help others even at your own cost. So dont burn yourself out and learn to say No! Your lucky days are Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Tuesday is not suitable for important activities like important meetings, beginning a new project or even meeting friends or family. You can use this day for catching up on things, or for mundane tasks. Try to avoid travelling far on this day if u can. Your lucky stones are yellow Sapphire, amethyst, or stones with a violet or purple lining. Black diamond or black pearls will make you impressive to others. You are suited for intellectual jobs which require logic and understanding. You will also do well in banking and financial business. You have a spiritual and philosophical bent, which may be well hidden, and may even turn you into a philanthropist. You will be well travelled, if not, you will get ample oppurtunity in the future. You are a peaceful person, and love quiet and green places. You are also domestic at heart. The planet Jupiter will encourage you to be social and a believer in tradition. It will also helps you with court cases. You are at your best in a high pressure situation. You may flourish as an executive, or working for the government or administration.

SOURCE : http://www.occultastrology.com/ - sorry for copy-pasting

It crossed in my mind to know my personality based on my date of birth. shocking that they found me...

Haha the words in red, that's is exactly me..Here, I list it down. hmm Give me some times to reflect on this. ha ha

1. Multi-skilled. Kind of..heee MUSIC- I can play the guitar, sing along with it...SPORTS - volleyball, netball, football, badminton, ^^ telematches. I play them all. Play for fun saja lorr except volleyball. That's my fav games. nah itu saja kaye..ada lagi bha lain-lain skill tapi malas sudah mau pikir n tulis.

2. Best friend anyone can ask for. Its depends on person la. Different person, diff thinking kan. And each person has their own way to interprete the meaning of friends in their life. But for me, I appreciate everyone just the way they are. Respect their thought, their belief, their life. If something goes worng give advise or guidance. We cannot change someone, it's their choices whether he/she want to change or not. Just be a good listener sometimes. Some people will avoid you when you're in trouble, but not me. Peace ^_^.

3. Sometimes you help others even at your own cost. That's the downside of me. haha not good. Been trained with this kind of attitude since childhood. So, from now on I should learn to say NO. hmm I know it's hard. Too kind hearted >_<.

4. You are suited for intellectual jobs which require logic and understanding. hmm maybe. 

5. You will be well travelled. hmmm I looking forward for this. ^^ really really love travelling. Lucky me..hehe I meet a group of wonderful people here, and they love travelling too..yay! 

♥♥ He, my love^_^ love travelling too. 

Finally loves found me. Its been 3 month then. when I ask him, 'do you really really love me?', he give me this :

6. Love quiet and green places. Yes, I do...I love watching sunset. The scenery, the quietness and the calm atmosphere..It drives away my problems and mess in my head. Green places also give calm and peaceful atmosphere. That's why I love it. I love green clothes oso..(^________^)

7. Best in a high pressure situation. Of course..pressure means there are challenges. hee I love challenges. I will work my best to overcome it. That's why I kinda bored with my job now, lack of challenge, not much work to do..hmmm boring, lame...aarrrghh this is not the kind of pressure that I want..hmmm I was thinking to find another job..or maybe I should change my unit..hmm I'll think about it.

8. Working for the government. Ha ha that's what I do for life. 

I'm done. wahh this is good, another way to reflect on myself. 

Give it a try fellas, you'll know yourself better.
 (*_^) wink! 

***Thinking..I want to quit writing here..but then here I am..blah blah blah..

♥Be grateful, be content♥

Sorry, this may be a bit harsh

huh gonna vomit everything here

uneasy hearts they weigh the most

makes my heart swell to burst

half of me is just pretending

pretending to agree

pretending to be happy, sometimes..

pretending to be open minded

half of me is real

half of me is fake

hah I'm screw up my life, the intellectual said...

I'm hypocrite..Liar..

I'm lost in a wilderness, Ambiguity, obscurity

can't find the way to express my whole feeling.

I suffer a feeling of dissatisfied...

But, that is life I guess...

everything happen for a reason..

Just because the sun shone today and it felt good 

-tomorrow it may rain 

but we mustn't get upset  

but be content and grateful anyway..

I am trying to be grateful...

trying so hard to be cheerful

and be content with what I have today.

Because nothing in this world is perfect..

and again...indeed, everything happen for a reason.

Thank you Lord for everything!

the happiness and contentmenti

is when you are there with me, Lord.

I ♥ u Lord Jesus

Teach me to love you more.

It's November~Happy Halloween!

Aloha...^^it's November!...personally, it is a month with full of hope for me~~

hope i'll do my best in final exam..

hope to achieve a great result (✍ aiming for the best )...

hope for a better improvement in my life ~ spiritually, physiological 

hope that November will be a wonderful month...

hope to find some cure for my homesickness...haha going home is the cure...patient is the antidote..

huhu can't wait for Christmas! 

anyway, hope you guys have a wonderful November too!

 hehe I'm not purposely editing this picture for Halloween, it's done a week ago...^^ just wanna put some Halloween mode in my blog since everyone is exited for Halloween...I'm not celebrating Halloween but I think it is no harm to dedicate some wishes or joining in with the fun...haha your choice!...nah Halloween wishes for u :~>

If you look up in the air you'll see the witches flying on brooms. 

If you look to your side, Frankenstein will be walking beside you.

 Look in the front and the goblins are laughing at your misery. 

Turn right behind and the skeletons are dancing cause it's Halloween.

 Have a horrific Halloween 0.o..

For the Christian Catholic, today, November 1, we will celebrating All Saints Day and tomorrow, November 2 is All Souls Day celebration...a day for commemoration of all the faithful departed, those baptized Christians who are believed to be in purgatory because they have died with the guilt of lesser sins on their souls...Instead of Halloween, this is our celebration...celebrating with prayer :)..

heee start this Month by reflecting myself and set a new goal...wanna leave all the laziness and put more commitment in everything I do...Lord I pray for your blessing...guide and help me go through this another challenging Month :)...

p/s "my life is complicated". That's what in my mind for this moment...huuuu maybe because I think too complicated, sometimes...I just can't be carefree all the time.

haha enough with this mumbling again...reflect on this before go to bed.

Matthew 6:34

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

a very Good night to all...have a nice dream...hope no horrific Halloween in our dream tonight ^o^..

May tomorrow be filled with hope, love and faith..~~♥.♥

Adios!

Death, life, friend~~just reflecting myself

Normally we do not like to think about death.

We would rather think about life.

Why reflect on death?

When you start preparing for death 

you soon realize

that you must look into your life now... 

and come to face the truth of your self.

Death is like a mirror 

in which the true meaning of life 

is reflected.

- Sogyal Rinpoche -

Today(18 Oct) I received an unexpected message...that one our brothers in Christ left us on his 22nd. even though we have only known each other for a short time, but we shared a lot of memories as the servant of God...may his soul rest in peace and may his family be blessed and be strengthen by the Lord to endure the lost of their loved one. I heard the story that his death is unnatural (not by disease or accident)...it's maybe by someone doing...oh my God how could someone do that to other people...I really cannot accept this..but the judgement is not for me to do, it's the Lord who will judge them accordingly..Job 34:11 He repays a man for what he has done; he brings upon him what his conduct deserves..Jeremiah 17:10 "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."

Today also I think a lot of things...about my death, my life, my family...agree with me that you also thinking the same when you in this situation (receive unexpected news that your friend is dead). Death, we cannot predict when it will come to us, death is like the thief or the robber...they wont tell you when will they rob your house. If they do so..of course you will be ready with the alarm, the guard or call the cops, right? then, death is one of the unpredictable thing in life...it maybe comes tonight, or maybe tomorrow, perhaps next week or next year. And in our belief (Christian catholic) the coming of the Lord, Jesus Christ and the judgement day or doomsday is also same as death/the thief who gonna rob your house...it's unpredictable. and all that we can do is BE READY & BE PREPARED spiritually, physically, mentally, psychologically...Matthew 4:17 From that time on Jesus began to preach, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."..as you can see the sign already shown..the war, the destruction...but we should not be afraid for the days to come, what we need to be afraid is 'our sins', that's is the biggest horror of all. Indeed, we human are weak, always fall into temptation and lead us into self destruction. Pray and turn to the Almighty and Merciful Lord, He is always there waiting for us and lift us when we falls. God will gives us strength and healing. Amen.

a lot of things happen to me this week...mostly i can say it is a bad thing...being hurt internally, felt betrayed by those who are dear to me. how would you feel when you are trying to advise one of you friend when they do bad thing, and I mean very bad thing...and some of your friend doesn't support you...are they worth to be called friend to us and to the one who do wrong...I don't think so, because in my opinion true friend will bring good thing to you and won't let you fall in any evil thing, they will try their best to save you...being together is not the only meaning of true friendship...I know, true friend is not easy to find. Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll always get you the right ones, yeah that's the formula. Don't be Afraid to Speak Your Mind, True Friends Will Still Love You. You don't need too many people to be happy, just a few REAL ones who can appreciate.

and I agreed with the opinion that said respect determines a whole lot in a relationship; in a couple, friendship and also in family...if you have no respect to others, then your are the abuser of the relationship...

here, in this post I also reflect on myself...hehe I think I'm not a very true friend also ~~sometimes~~^^..sometimes i afraid to speak my mind, but sometimes I'm to harsh when I speak or giving advise to other people..of course, nobody perfect heee...we have our own weakness, but at least we try to do things perfectly and in a good way...most people also think that I'm carefree and open minded that I wont care what they say or what they do...haha you are wrong my friend, I have my limit...sometimes I just remain silent when you said the unnecessary words because the situation is not suitable for me to speak. But I not the kind of girl who will let your abuse the limit. You wanna do bad thing, don't let it affect other people. Just let yourself be ruin if you really choose to be the one. And to all my friend (if you accidentally read this), who we are, what we gonna do, who is our true friend, either you want to ruin your life or have a respectful life...it is really your choice. 

wow, I'm really emotional today...just that..a lot of things happen..and I always keep most things in my mind and heart. It becomes heavier if I don't let it go. I don't really like to tell other people about my problem or my hatred. But, you know there is one person, the greatest in my life that not only me, but many other people who believe come to Him for peace of mind and heart. That's the Lord Jesus Christ.  He is my true friend and my best friend. I will tell him everything.

haha enough with this mumbling...this week is a week to remember. what happen gonna be one of my bad memories. But I will never forget what I've learned through this nightmare..Thank you Lord for everything, for everything happen for a reason..teach me to understand.

Good night (^.^) sweet dream (^.^) have a good day tomorrow...just be happy because God is walking along with us...

Adios! 

p/s long and serious entry...